Field Journal from the Jungles of Motherhood

Thursday, March 17, 2012 Subject appears to be ready for what the indigenous people refer to as "Potty Training." Subject removes soiled diaper himself and escapes captivity in search for freedom and sunshine antiseptic. Training begins at dawn. (ish) Friday, March 18, 2012 Subject has shown remarkable skill with rite of passage. Practitioner reads books while sitting on tub, subject pees in toilet. One accident so far. Subject enjoys raucous victory lap after discharge. Saturday, March 19, 2012 Subject wore diaper to bed as practitioner hypothesized sleep would hinder the typical 25 minute intervals of practice. Subject had wet diaper in morning, but enjoyed immense success throughout the day. Sunday, March 20, 2012 Subject is possibly smarter than practitioner. Saw opportunity to escape Stake Penitentiary (Sacrament meeting and nursery) by singing, "Eee Poot! Eeee Poot!" with urgency. Subject disrupted Practitioners combat training (teaching 4 year olds) with frequent requests to...well....eee poot. Monday, March 21, 2012 Subject has grown indifferent towards training. Reward cookies have been issued to ensure motivation. Tuesday, March 22, 2012 Cookies still being used. Accidents are more frequent. Practitioner returned to use of timers. Wednesday, March 23, 2012 Practitioner began eating cookies to ensure equal amounts of motivation. Found unusual contents in toy box. Subject prefers baths to cookies. Unfortunately subject associates baths with improper use of solids disposable. Thursday, March 24, 2012 Cookies are gone. Practitioner meditated inside dark closet and ate them all. They were good. Friday, March 25, 2012 Practitioner ran out of clean britches. Subject alternates between nudity and full nudity. No accidents thus far........