1. The list went around relief society and primary two and a half times and no one had signed up.
2. I miss being involved with the missionaries.
3. My guilt-o-meter has control of my life.
I regreted signing up to feed the Elders last night for three more reasons:
1. Our kids don't have manners. Yet. We are still in the "sit" and "stay" part of d
2. I never know what to fix other people. especially people who are allergic to: "Chicken, chicken stock, turkey, beans, peanuts, and eye contact."
3. I forgot to buy groceries.
I have developed a phoebia of cooking for stangers. It shouldn't, but it really hurts my feelings when people don't enjoy things I fix. I don't cook "typical mormon fare" and Jason and I enjoy I plethera of odd but healthy things while our kids are on a strict "it it is vegtable it must be raw" and "it can't be mixed up or suspicious looking" diet.
After more anxiety than it was worth I decided to just make tacos and salad. I also made a cranberry orange zuchini bread--not because it fit the meal, but because I don't do dessert and a small part of me knew they might not like salad.
That decision ended up costing me, because the zuchini bread used up all the sour-cream, but at the point that I realized that, I had already commited. Jason had the car so I thought I would just call him and ask him to get some on the way home from work.
Besides, I was also out of salad dressing. (Jason and I prefer balsamic vinegar so we don't have any other options in house).
Uno problemo. The elders never did call me to tell me when they were coming, and by the time I hunted down their number and left two messages I found out they needed to come before Jason usually gets off of work. I knew the missionaries couldn't come in the house if Jason wasn't home so I figured I could just offer several kinds of salsa and hopefully they wouldn't notice.
Then, to solve the salad dressing problem I got a bit.....innovative.
About a month ago I taught a class in Relief Society about Pro-biotics. The kids and I have been drinking Kefir all winter and I have been experiementing with fermenting vegtables. During my research for the class I found a salad dressing recipe using Kefir.
I didn't exaclty refer to the recipe....that would have been to logical. I just knew it could be done, so I blended some Kefir with some cream cheese and ranch seasonings. Then, I poured it into an old Briana's Salad dressing bottle and figured no one would even know it was homemade.
Okay. The missionaries came and they were....interesting. Called of God....., but intresting. The one with the phone told me he was having a bad day while avoiding eye contact and texting--someone. (It certainly wasn't his meal appointment for tomorrow, because that would have given them too much notice!)
The other Elder kept the conversation afloat like a water-logged sponge.
Oh well. Lets just eat.
We pray. Jadon blesses me, the ninjas, his grandpa in the hospital, his friend in the hospital, and "well". (Noelle). We don't often remember to bless the food. Or, at least he doesn't. He has a lot of friends to keep track of.
I explain the food. Phone Elder has finished two taco's by the time I finish. He excuses himself for the bathroom and spends the rest of the meal there. I thought to mention that we hide the toliet paper since Jadon likes to drop whole rolls in the toliet but he leaves before I can. I think he managed.
The other Elder opens my Kefir dressing and it starts to foam out of the bottle like a seventh grade volcano science fair project. He comments, "I've never seen dressing do THAT before."
Jason reassures him that that is because it is "homemade."
Other Elder skips on salad.
Meanwhile, Jadon who is not house trained, breaks chips over his head and does laps around the kitchen table. It is hard to both dicipline a child, and be a somewhat decent hostess, so Jadon gets a free pass until he gets hauled off by an ogre. (The resonsible and short-er tempered parent).
Glad that we were making such a good impression I remembered to ask how "work was going on this area."
Phone Elder returned and told us he hated his mission president.
I told the kids that the missionaries had an uplifting message for us and that we were moving to the living room.
After the short lesson Jadon called on Other Elder to say the prayer. I guess even he knew that was a better option.
When all was over Jason and I decided our dedication to feed "anyone" while our kids were still under 19 had been fulfilled in Maryland where we feed the missionaries weekly. I also promised not to feed anyone fermented salad dressing unless they were related.
4 comments:
This post actually made me laugh out loud. My kids still have no manners, I have a phobia about feeding anyone too--because I hate cooking and have no imagination and would rather order out every meal. I think you're awesome. You're great at striving to be healthy, grow your own food, canning, trying things like "kefir" (I don't even know what this is), the list goes on. Seriously, you inspire me.
I'm laughing so hard I have tears running down my face, but it's really early in the morning so I'm having to be quiet. Those missionaries don't know how lucky they were to eat with you that night...it was a taste of reality! I share your phobia of cooking for others. Friday night I went to a potluck with a group of "foodie" people. I made my german coleslaw and baked an impressive Bulgarian poppyseed/ground almond/current stuffed bread. It was beautiful sitting there on the platter. It was a good thing it was pretty because it became the centerpiece. You guessed it...most everyone in the group was gluten intolerant, those that weren't didn't eat sugar (which the coleslaw contained to) and even though the ingredients to both were organic or from our farm the offerings were mostly rejected. The funny thing is I had purposely not fixed a meat dish because I knew there were vegans and vegetarians coming. So my anxiety heightens on situations like this because I can't guess what people eat!
I just signed up to feed the missionaries this week and it is always such an agonizing decision for pretty much the same reasons. I like your idea of making the bread as a dessert. We don't really do dessert here and when I make cookies it doesn't work out well because I always try to make them healthy. I need to remember a cookie is a cookie. The last missionaries we had over were very polite though and even took home a bag of my "cookies" (flat, hard, dark things that at least had chocolate chips in them). I always worry too that they are going to hate what we have and that they won't get enough. We eat pretty simply and healthy for the most part. Thankfully all our missionaries have been wonderful. They've been out several times helping with the addition on our house so I guess I owe them. :)
Would you consider doing a blog post on kefir? Your recipes and how you do it and, well, whatever else one would need to know? I LOVE the flavored Kefir in the store, but don't buy it very often because of the cost. I have a feeling homemade kefir will be a little different than the store-bought type too. Just a thought... :)
Oh Barbie, I would LOVE some of that bread! Sounds wonderful! Too bad those people missed out! Any way I could get the recipe?
Amberlynn,
I'll work on a post about Kefir. It is so easy and wonderful I think everyone should try it.
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