My Life

Every time I move I have an identity crisis. You don't realize how much you identify yourself by the people around you and the things that you do. In Iowa I was the busy wife, the mom, the cafe supervisor, the aerobics instructor, the gospel doctrine teacher. I had a lot of friends and acquaintances. Though I was often caught saying..."I can't wait until I don't have to work." I have found that its been an adjustment to remember who I am with out all the accessories. I don't know why its so important to have things to define yourself by. I guess everyone has a huge need to have a sense of "self". The question I've had the last couple of weeks has been "How much of my "self" is situational...how much of it is really me...and how much has changed in the last couple of years?" Here are my discoveries...
1. You can take the dancer out of the studio, but you can't take the studio out of the dancer. Oh crap. That doesn't sound right at all! :) A lot of how I have defined myself .--pretty much all my life, is by being a dancer. I danced all through high school, and college. Once I moved to Iowa I started teaching ballroom dance classes. As of yet...I don't have anything here. I find myself getting very defensive about it. (Don't you dare critique my SYTYCD ballroom dancers if you don't have a degree! Prideful....I know...) Anyway, this last Wednesday I went to a Yoga class. Essentially it was a modern dance class with yoga moves. I was in heaven. There is just something about movement and music that will always be "me". I don't think anyone but a fellow dancer can understand it. When I dance its like the magic factor opens up and I feel more "Lindseyish."
2. I love being mom! I don't know why its been such a surprise to me how much I like motherhood. My mom and my husbands mom are both amazing, so I have always had good examples. There are a lot of parts of my "self" that have been in hibernation much of my life waking up only because of motherhood. I find myself enjoying being selfless. (Who knew I wouldn't mind getting up early in the morning!) When I tell people how much I like being a mom they love to forewarn me of all the troubles that lay ahead. Save your breath. I don't care. Being a mom is a part of myself that won't change no matter where I live.
3. I can claim my history a part of my whole. Sometimes its hard to let go of things that were a large part of me in the past, that cannot, for whatever reason, be a part of me now. At first I thought I was loosing a part of myself that I was especially endeared to. Now I realize without change...there would be no change! I can still hold claim to my "outdoorsy, adventurous, spontaneous, whimsical self" even though I need to keep that in check a little more now that I have to pay bills and avoid bodily injury.
4. Family. I can't really coordinate the words I want to here. Living away from family is hard. Family really defines me. They are the people who know your past. They are the people who you offend and they still love you. My family influences me even though they are so very very far away.
5. The gospel. Oh boy. Did I mention my new calling is being a nursery leader...and I am terrified! I'll take teaching a class full of adults who know tons more than me over a handful of wild two year olds any day. :) But, I will do it and learn from it, and learn to love it because thats the gospel.(Learning for the sake of becoming more like Christ). My beliefs are such a part of my life. I love that I have come to a place in my life where I am confidant with myself spiritually...enough so to know that my guardian angel Arnold will help me with the two year olds. :)
I could write more about who I am but this is getting cheesy. Needless say my busy life has now become more like this:
5:30 Go to the gym
7:00 watch the news, make my honey's lunch, play with squirto
8:00 Nap time. (I put Noelle down for one too. :) Don't judge me! I get up at 5:30!
9:00-5:00. Go for walks, water my plants, read, write, visit neighbors, clean my house, attempt to be crafty (which I am not!) go on visits with missionaries, plan dinner.
6:00 Dinner
8:00 Walk around the neighborhood my honey and the kid.
9:00 Baby to sleep. :) SYTYCD, read "Eldest" with my honey, get my bum kicked at the Wii, eat ice cream....
10:30 Attempt to sleep.
That my life now. Different place, but I'm getting used to it.
Now for your viewing pleasure, some totally unrelated pictures. (Camera issues prevent anything recent.)

Jason's graduation from IA state. He wore his gown in. I wore it out. (I missed my BYU graduation and wanted some credit since I worked so hard to graduate!)