Two events happened this week that have caused me even greater doubt in humanity.
No, it wasn't watching Glen Beck. Though I did, with Noelle on my lap, and she laughed the whole segment and then turned to me and said, "Mom, funny huh!" So in Noelle's book Glen and Dora are equals. Don't comment on that.
The two events were thus.
First, my parents farm raised, raised hormone free, free range happy, happy chickens witnessed or experienced a brutal attack in their very own home, which just so happens to be a posh green house with space heaters and TIVO. Two dogs entered mid-day and devoured 16 of them, paying no regards to the fact that they were helpless pregnant females.
Second, our very next door neighbors were robbed in broad day light, while I sat, with the window open, consolidating 2009 paperwork, and worrying about the BRAKES on our car. Jason watched a girl leave the house with a pink duffel bag and figured she had spent the night. In reality she was hauling the last of our neighbors electronics out to her get away vehicle. The neighbors had a dog--who did not go get the sheriff, and had locked their windows and doors.
So in memory of the chickens. (Please, a moment of silence). And with a prayer for little old me, who has to stay at this residence without a husband, all by myself, with the obvious vulnerabilities at hand, I submit to you Jason's solution to both problems.
Enter the Paintball Turret Center.
(Warning, mildly graffiti-ific)
I'm thinking one on top of the greenhouse, and one hidden behind my unlocked, open door. And in case you are concerned, you can program it specifically for dogs, humans, or cars, but it can not distinguish between thieves and Jehovah Witnesses. That is an issue I will worry about later.
Bring it on dogs. The Rambo chickens are waiting.
Bring it on thieves. I dare you to try and steal my most expensive items. (Which at this point in my life....is my food storage).
6 comments:
sad sad day :(
The paintball Rambo is worth a try. I can just see me going to collect eggs and getting shot by purple paintballs though. As for you I could send you some errant German Shepherds that know how to kill chickens to be your guard dogs. I guarantee that no thief would come near your house and if he did mess with this pair of canines he would stop his life of crime and want to become a street sweeper.
Sorry about the chickens. That's a bummer. New dogs in the neighborhood?
Mark's family has had stuff stolen from them in Hawaii several times. Always makes me nervous!
Food storage seems a difficult thing to steal... especially if you sleep on it. (ref: The RM) but given the right circumstances, i'm quite certain you will have to protect it as such.
Our greatest source of protection is currently the glacier that is threatening to fall at any moment off our roof...complete with dangerous icicle's that could blind even the most innocent attempt.
And you didn't open a can of whoop-%&* on the burglars? Humans can be horrible. I'm like you, I would have probably gone over there to ask her where she bought that cute pink bag. ug.
Sad stories...Let me know how the paintball gun thing works out....I'm sure my husband would LOVE to use that method! :)
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