Don't: Run the dishwasher, the washer, or the dryer at night right before you go to bed. They ALL sound like someone breaking into your house with a Tupperware handgun.
Do: Sleep on the diagonal. Ohhh it is great. When it gets hot I just roll over and there are cool sheets....then later I roll back....
Don't: Buy junk food. It is really *expensive and not *good for you plus you won't have anyone around to see how much you are eating.
*Expensive: As in, a bag of Doritos is like 5 bucks! I can buy a bag of carrots at Costco for that much and they last me two weeks. The Doritos...two days? It is even more expensive when the Doritos are on the isle parallel to the wine. (I know, only in Babylon right?) While I was checking out the chips Noelle was checking out the wine and THREW a bottle into the cart. I don't t H i n K that it broke. I wasn't really around to see. I grabbed my chips and rolled out of there.
**Unhealthy: As in, Hello Bertie Botts every flavor of junk food turned into a chip. Buffulo wings, Pizza, Enchilada, Gacamole....the only flavor I didn't see was Corndog. Hmmmm maybe they are still working on that one.
Do: Watch chick flicks.
Don't: Paint everything in the house blue. (WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!!)
Do: Use your husband's sander just for fun.
Don't: Lock yourself out of your house when all you are wearing is your pajamas.
Do: Set booby traps at your doors at night.
Don't: Watch any scary movie. (We are talking threshold of Snow White here...)
Do: Change all the radio presets and enjoy some of your outvoted music.
Don't: Forget to take out the garbage.
Don't: Announce on the internet that your husband is away. Was away. Is still here. This is all hypothetical right?
6 comments:
I laughed the whole way through this post thanks for making my day
Combo
Loved the list. I once took a picture of the kitchen counter while Ross was gone just to show how much work had gone into recovering the apartment before he returned.
You happy Maughans have lived in the right places. I thought of you today when I came across this article.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20100216/sc_livescience/happieststateshawaiimovesintofirstplace
(I momentarily forgot about your brief stint out East... but it wasn't too far down the list either.)
That's a pretty good list. I stay up late when I am alone. I know I expire before 10:00 p.m. usually but when I am alone it's wide awake time till at least midnight. I think it is so that I will be too tired to hear any kind of weird noise that could possibly happen in the night. I also go on the leftover diet, and when the leftovers are gone I start in on the unbalanced kind of meals where I eat a quart of canned tomatoes for dinner (or lunch or breakfast) because it's simple and only requires a bowl. Low dish dirtying becomes paramount in importance.
you are so incredibly funny. Do you give lessons? I so wish I was funny. I'm never funny. Except by accident or when eating a burrito and weighing myself at the same time.
Great Advice Lindsey :) So glad you're surviving!
My mom painted the whole house blue when the rest of us went on a camp out without her. (She's a wimp.) And she even painted the ceiling blue. And the trampoline. Oh, and our playhouse outside, the basketball pole, the picnic table, the the shed, and two walls inside our home. COUNTRY blue. True Story. And we all had to lie and tell her it looked good, or else... and then help her paint the trip of our house the following weekend the same blue. We hated it.
But I'm SUUUURE yours looks better than what my mother did. gulp.
Post a Comment