Is the sound I made when I found out (tonight) I was in charge of feeding 100 people this Tuesday.
Canceling all three-day weekend plans.
First, I will get this food thing done because people are counting on me.
Then, when it is over I am going to buy a Starbucks mug and drink from it secretively/not-really secretively at the rest of any ward functions.
I wish people thought I was inactive so I never had to leave my comfort zone.
(Maybe Starbucks isn't enough. Would it help to know that I drink Kavas that my mother brews in her downstairs fridge? Would it help to know I may/or may not/but most-likely have/ indulged purposely/accidentally in some good/DANG good mocha flavored ice cream? Should I tell people that I swear every time I drive on the freeway? (Cause I do. Once with the relief society president in the car...but then again I about got us killed by a semi-truck driver so the word I used was more appropriate than my usual....)
Do I seem less active yet?
That's it.
Tomorrow I am going to buy a bikini and a six pack of Dr. Pepper and I am going to tan on my front yard for when my visiting teachers come.
It may be awkward. I haven't shaved all winter.
Rant complete.
5 comments:
You could use those stick on or transfer tatoos, speak with a gravelly voice and only look at people sideways through narrowed eyes, or talk a lot about the last Harly motercycle gathering you attended and what kind of "leathers" you wore, or carry the latest radical/conservative/odd book around with you, or use stick on earrings for "piercings" on your nose and eyebrow, chin and cheek...but people would probably still see through you and trust that you could and would feed a hundred at a moments notice. Sorry, you are just one of those upstanding people at heart.
Lindsey, you're too good to fool them:) and i'm afraid neither of the things on the list will be able to change that
I think your ideas for appearing less active sound quite fun! Especially the bikini and tanning in the front yard. I'll have to wait on that one since it snowed 10 feet of snow last night, but definitely saving it up for when anyone asks me to feed 100. Wait. They don't ask me :) They know better.
Ahhh, I loved your rant. I'm really sorry you have to feed 100 people. That's craziness. If you DO buy a bikini and drink and entire 6 pack of Dr. Pepper and sun bathe when your visiting teaches stop by, please let us know how that goes. That'd be great.
Oh my gosh. This made me laugh so hard. And I totally feel ya on the wanting to appear inactive at times. My husband finds it highly effective just to not do his home teaching. (He's really not a jerk, I swear!) I'm too guilt ridden for such things.
Best post ever.
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